Breaking News: There is no news!

Apparently, the public now needs to be told there aren't any hurricanes out there.

Ten other things they can tell us aren't out there over and over:

10. Unbiased media sources
9. Democrats with any sort of long-range budget plan or Iraq strategy either
8. Arab allies
7. EU allies
6. H2H Bird Flu strain
5. Another celebrity couple having a baby
4. Practical renewable cheap energy alternatives in widespread use
3. Stable operating systems for computers
2. Reliable spam and spyware protection
1. Proof that cell phones cause cancer

But as soon as there's proof or these things happen, they'll be sure to be right on top of them.