Funny Commercial

This is my favorite commercial of all time!

Cheese-ball Alert

This made me cry today...



Source: The Daily Purge

Interesting facts about high Oil company profits

ExxonMobil CEO and chairman Rex Tillerson recently defended his company's staggering $11.7 billion in profits for the second quarter on ABC news, saying that the company's earnings reflected the magnitude of its business operation .

"I saw someone characterize our profits the other day in terms of $1,400 in profit per second. Well, they also need to understand we paid $4,000 a second in taxes, and we spent $15,000 a second in cost," Tillerson told ABC News' Charles Gibson. "We spend $1 billion a day just running our business. So this is a business where large numbers are just characteristic of it."

Source: ABC News

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
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Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Presbyterian Church votes to end discrimination against LGBT members

Friday, June 27, 2008
Presbyterian Church (USA) just voted 54% to 46% to end discrimination
against LGBT members San Jose: This is an amazing moment in history. I give thanks to God for all of you who have been praying, believing and working for the Presbyterian Church (USA) to end discrimination against its own lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender daughters and sons, sisters and brothers in Christ.

Today, the 218th General Assembly of the PCUSA voted 54% to 46% to end discrimination against LGBT members of our Church; and to provide spiritual and ordination equality for LGBT Presbyterians.

The Assembly approved the Boston Ordination Equality Overture which called for a deletion of the "fidelity in marriage, chastity in singleness" requirement and lifted up our historic Constitutional questions for ordination and installation. This part of the overture requires ratification by the presbyteries in the next year.

The second part of the overture provides a new Authoritative Interpretation struck down the anti-gay policy statements beginning with the 1978 Definitive Guidance and the subsequent 1979 ruling that homosexuality is not compatible with service in the Church, sinful and not part of God's design. These profoundly informed and homophobic statements from the past of our Church have no further force or effect with the approval of this Boston Ordination Overture.

More Light Presbyterians gives thanks to God for all of the Commissioners, Youth Advisory Delegates and other delegates who are serving faithfully this week. There is clearly a sea-change in our Church, society and world as more people are letting go of the old beliefs and prejudice about homosexuality, same-gender loving persons
and embracing what it means to recognize Christ and the divine image within all of God children, no exceptions.

Source: Topix

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ENERGY SAVER LIGHT BULBS!

Interesting clip....We are going NUTS in this country!

Medical Accomplishments

A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas; put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.'

Something Light: Kids say the darndest things

I used to love watching Kids Say the Darndest Things with Bill Cosby and Art Linkletter. If you never got to see the show, its premise involved Cosby or Linkletter interviewing young children, whose candid replies kept audiences in stitches. (It sure beat much of the reality television that has aired in recent years!) Here’s a clip from the show.

What’s the funniest thing a child ever told you?

Source: WorldMagBlog - Kristin Chapman

Harvey Korman 1927 - 2008

The late Harvey Korman, second from right, in a 1968 skit on "The Carol Burnett Show," in which some shapely legs -- and then their owners -- are revealed to the audience. From left, Betty Grable, Martha Raye, Jackie Gregory, Lyle Waggoner, Korman and Burnett.

"Give me something bizarre to play, or put me in a dress and I'm fine," Korman jokingly said in a 2005 Chicago Sun-Times interview.

My family to this day will recite lines from "Eunice and Ed" when we get together.

Korman and Conway developed an uncanny rapport that made them arguably one of television's most lethal comic teams; Conway's on-camera ad-libs often made Korman crack up; producers wisely kept them in the show.

For about eight years, until late last December, the pair toured the country in a stage show that, more than anything, was a homage to their years with Burnett. They performed about 120 shows a year.

"I don't know whether either one of us was the straight man," Conway said. "The most important thing in comedy when you're working together is for one guy to know when to shut up. And we both knew when to shut up; quiet show, actually."

One of their favorite routines from the Burnett show was the dentist sketch, "where I kind of anesthetize my entire body with Novocain" while trying to fill Korman's teeth, Conway told The Times on Thursday.

"They play it at all the dental schools, as kind of an introduction on how not to do it," Conway said.

Korman suffered an abdominal aortic aneurysm in January, the same malady that claimed my uncle Toots in his early sixties, several years ago. Most people cannot survive it but Korman battled for four months before passing on Thursday.

I think my favorite memory of Korman is from Blazing Saddles, when his character Hedley Lamarr was constantly irritated at having to correct the pronunciation of his name.

"Head - leh"

It's been a difficult week for Hollywood legends, and those of us who are their fans.

source: Brains and Eggs

Marriage is Fun

In honor of California's recent victory, here are some examples of mistakes NOT to make in your marriage announcements...














At least these two tired.....




Source: Famous Like Me

Holding Us Back

The oil producing nations are causing our high gasoline prices. The third largest producer of crude has put millions of oil reserves off limits to drilling because of leftist interest.

It may surprise Americans to discover that the United States is the third-largest oil producer, behind Saudi Arabia and Russia. We could be producing more, but Congress has put large areas of potential supply off-limits. These include the Atlantic and Pacific coasts and parts of Alaska and the Gulf of Mexico. By government estimates, these areas may contain 25 billion to 30 billion barrels of oil (against about 30 billion barrels of proven U.S. reserves today) and 80 trillion cubic feet or more of natural gas (compared with about 200 tcf of proven reserves).

What keeps these areas closed are exaggerated environmental fears, strong prejudice against oil companies and sheer stupidity. Americans favor both "energy independence" and cheap fuel. They deplore imports -- who wants to pay foreigners? -- but oppose more production in the United States. Got it? The result is a "no-pain energy agenda that sounds appealing but has no basis in reality," writes Robert Bryce in "Gusher of Lies: The Dangerous Delusions of 'Energy Independence.' "

Then there is the ethanol crises which we heavily subsidise farmers and manufactures, while we throw a $0.58 a gallon tarrif on on top of the state and Federal taxes of $2.00 a gallon Brazillian Ethanol.

But major obstacles remain. Unlike Brazil, U.S. producers make ethanol from corn, which is a far less efficient source, yielding four times less energy than sugar. Ethanol prices in the U.S. are less competitive than in Brazil. U.S. producers are protected by a 54 cent per gallon tariff on Brazilian ethanol.

Source: liberty's blog

The Real McCain

Source: The Real MCcain

Summing up W

Six Words For Bush asks that you sum up the current presidency in only six words.

It's a contest that runs til Inauguration Day.

We'll have to think a bit before we submit our own entry to christinehalvorson@yahoo.com, but submit we will. All in due time, my pretty.

Don't whine that six isn't enough words for you rednecks to assemble a coherent history of W.

Just remember what Shakespeare said, "Brevity is the soul of strategery."

Source: THE BRAZOSPORT NEWS

Update: Submitted my entry, "Advisors should be advisors – not policymakers."

This seems like a good use of taxpayer dollars...

KHOU-11 reports that the City of Houston will decide whether or not to allocate $150,000 to defend Chief Hurtt's no facial hair policy:

The case centers around four Houston police officers who filed a federal discrimination lawsuit against HPD over their beards.

The officers have not been allowed to wear a uniform because of the department’s strict no facial hair policy.

Yeah, with HPD's manpower shortage, this idea was pure genius: Sideline four officers AND spend thousands of dollars!

Source: blogHouston.net

A tasty tidbit: Beef brisket is good for you

A&M scientists say corn-fed cattle yield meat that's high in healthy fat


Texas A&M University scientists Tuesday gave a big thumbs up to barbecued beef brisket, saying the mainstay of he-man Texas cuisine is loaded with the same type of healthy fat found in olive or canola oil.

The high level of monosaturated fat found in brisket — up to 50 percent — comes from feeding cattle corn in a feedlot setting, AgriLife meat scientist Stephen Smith said. The more corn a steer eats, the higher the percentage of the good fat.

Olive and canola oils contain up to 80 percent monosaturated fat.

Smith and Texas A&M graduate student Stacey Turk, who conducted the research for her master's thesis in animal science, contend the discovery bodes well for other beef products in grocers' meat counters.

Grinding brisket, or grinding parts of brisket that contain the highest concentration of fat, could provide a healthy alternative to conventional ground beef, which typically is made from cuts higher in saturated fat, Smith said.

The key to brisket's monosaturated fat seems to be the corn-fed finishing most American cattle receive in feedlots. The same breeds of cattle fed entirely on grass do not develop the health-enhancing quality, nor is all fat in cornfed beef high in monosaturated acids.

Smith and Turk said they believe the new findings will be a boon to the beef business.

But there are concerns.

With biofuel makers now in the corn market, the golden grain is costing feedlot operators a whopping $5 a bushel, Smith noted.

And hours after Texas A&M announced its study Tuesday, the Pew Charitable Trusts and Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health issued a scathing report on cattle feedlots and other aspects of modern industrial farming.

Hitting where it really hurts, other studies have indicated that grilling or barbecuing animal protein can generate heterocyclic amines linked to breast and colon cancer.

But not to worry.

Smith said Wagyu, Japanese cattle that typically spend their entire lives in pastures eating grass, also build up healthy levels of monosaturated fat in marbled flesh.

Perhaps the solution is to chow down on a delectable hunk of Wagyu. Raw.

Source: Houston Chornicle - allan.turner@chron.com

Sordid Lives: The Series

Logo will premiere Sordid Lives: The Series on July 23 at 10p with twelve 30m episodes based on the 1996 play and 2000 film of the same title about a dysfunctional southern family and citizens of Winters, TX.

The television series will star Bonnie Bedelia, Beth Grant, Leslie Jordan, Rue McClanahan, Olivia Newton-John and Caroline Rhea.

Source: Ellegedly.com

Just Because.....

New Living Will Form

I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Martini ______a Margarita _______ a Cape Cod with 2 limes
______a Bloody Mary ______a Rum drink with an umbrella
______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs ______The remote control
______a bowl of ice cream ______The Chronicle entertainment section -or-
______Chocolate

it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: _________________________________

Date: _____________________

Help me pick my daughter's senior Pics

Please take a look at the pics of my daughter below and let me know your favorites. We are trying to decide which ones to order.....
1 -
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -
6 -
7 -

On a light hearted note - - boyfriend didn't believe him - --

It's a time-worn president's trick: walk up to a congressman chatting on the phone and send your regards to the astonished person on the other end of the line, charming the listener with your regular-guy credentials.

That's what President Bush did Monday night at the State of the Union address, when he approached Newton Democrat Barney Frank, who was talking on his cell phone in the House Speaker's lobby before Bush's speech.

What Bush didn't know was that the congressman was talking to his boyfriend.

"Tell him I said, 'Hello,' '' Bush said to Frank, leaning in to pat the congressman' s shoulder. As Bush continued into the House chamber, Frank told his skeptical boyfriend that it had been the conservative Republican president sending his good wishes. Frank's boyfriend didn't believe him, so the Massachusetts lawmaker put one of the sergeants-at- arms on the phone to back up his story.

After the speech, Frank said, he felt he had to tell Bush what he had done. After all, the president opposes gay marriage, and gay rights groups do not see the president as an ally.

Frank sought out the president, who put his hand on the back of the congressman' s head to hear him more clearly in the noisy, crowded room.

"Mr. President, by the way, the person I was talking to when you said to say hello was my boyfriend,'' Frank said he told the commander-in- chief.

"Well. I hope you said how open-minded I am,'' Frank said the president replied.

"I considered telling [the president] I wouldn't marry him,'' Frank said, "but then I thought, 'Nah.' ''

Source: Susan Milligan, Boston Globe

Lest we forget - " - - Over 65,000 homosexuals were interred or murdered

"We know Jews were the primary victims of the racism experienced during this horrendous period, but homosexuals were also targeted along with Roma gypsies and disabled people.

Event to remember gay suffering
A special ceremony took place at Liverpool's St John's Gardens in memory of the thousands of homosexuals who suffered at the hands of the Nazis. It was described as an opportunity to remember all those who died.

It was part of the events to leading up to National Holocaust Memorial Day being held in the city on Sunday.

A pink wreath in the shape of a triangle, the badge that gay men were forced to wear, was laid prior to a two-minute silence.

Over 65,000 homosexuals were interred or murdered between 1934 and 1945.

The wreath was laid by representatives from the Homotopia festival, Armistead, a sexual health service for gay and bisexual men, Lambda Centre Warsaw and Merseyside Police Anti-Hate Crime Unit.

Homosexuals 'targeted'

Director of the Homotopia festival, Gary Everett, who has organised the wreath-laying event said: "The Holocaust was one of the most horrific and evil chapters in modern history.

"It is of continuing importance that we not only remember the many lives lost but always be vigilant that something of this magnitude never happens again."

Liverpool's Lord Mayor, Councillor Paul Clark, said: "Holocaust Memorial Day gives us all the opportunity to remember those groups who were persecuted during the Holocaust.

"We know Jews were the primary victims of the racism experienced during this horrendous period, but homosexuals were also targeted along with Roma gypsies and disabled people.

"All the events running up to Sunday's main commemorative event play a pivotal role in educating people of all ages about the atrocities experienced during the Holocaust and more recent genocides."

Oil Prices!!

Gore for same-sex marriage

Not sure what prompted this, but Al Gore has quietly released a video with a forceful endorsement of equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians. It pushes the Democratic establishment that much closer to a position he now shares with Eliot Spitzer and some other leading Dems, and is prompting a bit of grumbling in gay political circles that this batch of candidates aren't quite there.

"Gay men and women ought to have the same rights as heterosexual men and women -- to make contracts, to have hospital visiting rights, to join together in marriage, and I don't understand why it is considered by some people to be a threat to heterosexual marriage," he says on the video, which appears on his Current TV network. "Shouldn't we be promoting the kind of faithfulness and loyalty to ones partner regardless of sexual orientation?"

Gore's words come after the leading presidential candidates have tiptoed up to, but not crossed, the line of support for same-sex marriage. All three support equal substantive rights for gay and lesbians couples, and they've sought to woo gay voters in other ways: Elizabeth Edwards has voiced her support for same-sex marriage, for instance, and Barack Obama recently scolded the black church for homophobia, in a speech to an African-American congregation.

(via Towleroad)

America's worst 20 fast food items

Most folks can get by quite well with eating less than 2,000 calories per day. Each of these food items pretty well gets you there.

Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked and Stuffed hotcakes?

By the way, just to show that you can find almost anything on the Web, The Healthy Dining Finder can help you pick healthier choices from standard restaurant menus by eliminating high-calorie add-ons.

Source: Houston's Clear Thinkers

Myths about oil are hard to dispel

Amidst the demagoguery of a U.S. Presidential campaign, it's rare to find the mainstream media willing to run Robert Bryce's common sense on energy policy and oil prices. For example:

Myth 3: Energy independence will let America choke off the flow of money to nasty countries.
Fans of energy independence argue that if the United States stops buying foreign energy, it will deny funds to petro-states such as Iran, Saudi Arabia and Hugo Chavez's Venezuela. But the world marketplace doesn't work like that. Oil is a global commodity. Its price is set globally, not locally. Oil buyers are always seeking the lowest-cost supplier. So any Saudi crude being loaded at the Red Sea port of Yanbu that doesn't get purchased by a refinery in Corpus Christi or Houston will instead wind up in Singapore or Shanghai.


Refer to this article whenever you are listening to the candidates from either party start talking about energy policy. Come to think of it, while considering political choices, you should also keep handy this Bryan Caplan/WaPo op-ed entitled 5 Myths About Our Ballot-Box Behavior.

Source: Houston Clear Thinkers

Want to lose weight really, really fast? Chew gum.

Here's a short new study from German scientists who found that excess intake of sorbitol, a sweetener widely used in chewing gum, could induce severe weight loss. Patients could lose, in fact, as much as 20 percent of body mass.

From a summary of the article:

The first patient (a 21 year old woman) chewed large amounts of sugar-free gum, accounting for a total daily dose of 18-20g sorbitol (one stick of chewing gum contains about 1.25g sorbitol). The second patient (a 46 year old man) reported chewing 20 sticks of sugar-free gum and eating up to 200g of sweets each day, which together contained around 30g sorbitol.

After both patients started a sorbitol free diet, diarrhoea subsided, normal bowel movements resumed and weight gain was achieved.

As possible side effects are usually found only within the small print on foods containing sorbitol, consumers may be unaware of its laxative effects and fail to recognise a link with their gastrointestinal problems, write the authors.


It's true that this information is clinically useful to physicians, but does anyone else see the great potential for abuse here by those wanting to go on crash diets?

1. Eat 20 sticks of gum
2. Get really sick
3. Lose 20 pounds
4. Fit into that wedding dress

Originally posted by SciGuy

Change

"Top Ten Least Popular Holiday TV Specials"

Well, the results are in......enjoy!

"Top Ten Least Popular Holiday TV Specials"

As submitted by viewers of Dave Letterman.

10. "Mugging On 34th Street"
- Mike M., Wonder Lake, IL

9. "Gift Wrapping With The Stars"
- TJ L., Racine, WI

8. "Donald Trump's Holiday Combovers"
- Jeffrey W., Roscoe, NY

7. "Hillary Clinton in 'Pantsuits of Christmas Past'"
- James B., Mt. Ida, AR

6. "The 75th Annual Leaving of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Out On The Curb"
- Richard F., Saint Mays, CA

5. "That's Hot: Paris Hilton Tells The Story Of The Yule Log"
- Christine N., Del Mar, CA

4. "Pamela Anderson Celebrates 'The Twelve Days of Marriage'"
- Vern P., Gainesville, VA

3. "Larry Craig's Tappin' New Year's Eve"
- Anne S., Seattle, WA

2. "Michael Vick in 'Snoopy's Last Christmas'"
- Greg F., Columbia, SC

1. "Rudolph, The Performance-Enhanced Reindeer"
- Mark L., Kansas City, MO

Wonder Dog

Life's Journey

Love is for Everyone

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