The Top Twelve Differences between Men and Women

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though the total is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When a group of women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, if it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that...is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Fast Food Marketing -vs- Fast Food Reality

Now that I'm part of a Marketing group, I've really taken note of all things "marketing"...

Take a look at this fast food reality slide show as seen on KTRH.

The Arby's Beef n' Cheddar is particularly disappointing.

Moons Over Manhattan

Cheeky Campaign Hits Times Square
Forget Moon over My Hammy, how about Moons over Manhattan. Lots and lots of smiling moons. Courtesy of a toilet company, no less. On July 1, the Toto Washlet company will unveil a giant two-story billboard wrapped around three sides of a Times Square building. And on that billboard will be giant two-storied rears, smiling down on the city. Why are they smiling?

Because the Toto Washlet is moder-day miracle of science (according to the press release). It "upgrades a standard U.S. toilet to state-of-the-art in personal hygiene. It cleans and dries with aerated water and warm air (both adjustable, via wireless remote, for temperature and strength). While over 17 million have been sold worldwide, the U.S. remains an untapped market."

The campaign was created by ML Rogers, New York. They claim the ad was too graphic to run in luxury print titles, but look for it on websites such as Gawker, Salon and FoodandWine.com

Take a look at the Clean is Happy website, which provides some faces to go with those cheeks.

Hillary: You & I

Hafta admit I'm not a big Hillary fan and I loathe the choice of campaign theme song by Hillary ("You & I" Celine Dion ... blech), but using a "Sopranos" spoof video as the means of announcing it is sheer brilliance.



Note: Secretly, I was hoping for a song more along the lines of Steppenwolf's "Monster". LOL!

Drink red wine, reduce tooth decay

Yes, really.

Historically wine has long been known to have various medicinal uses, first being employed to clean wounds to prevent the spread of infections. More recently, other health benefits of red wine, such as reducing the incidence of heart disease, have become big news.

But what about that anti-microbial activity from antiquity?

In an article (full version here) published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, Italian researchers have investigated the anti-bacterial effects of both red and white wine in the mouth and throat.

To the delight of wine drinkers everywhere, the wines tested surprisingly well.

Red wine was slightly more effective, but both varieties inhibited the growth of several strains of streptococci bacteria that are involved in tooth decay, and some cases of sore throat.

The question becomes, then, would you rather have red-stained teeth or decayed teeth?

Good for a chuckle or two ...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reebok's.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Pictures from Robin's Wedding

Click Here for all photo thumbnails from Robin’s Wedding Albumn

Overindulgent parenting

When I think back on my childhood birthday parties, I recall fond memories of playing "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" in the family room and blowing out candles atop a homemade birthday cake. But today's childhood birthday parties are a far cry from those of my day.

A spiraling level of competitiveness to keep up with the "baby Joneses" is driving parents across the nation to pull out all the stops and their checkbooks to make sure that Junior's birthday party becomes the talk of the town.

"Extravagant parties are happening in cities and in rural areas, not just New York and Los Angeles," Cookie magazine's Rebecca Ffrench said. "People everywhere are really pushing the limits. They are spending a lot more than they would have five or 10 years ago."

How does your family celebrate birthdays and what's the most you ever spent on such a celebration?

100 words every high school grad should know

The editors of the American Heritage dictionaries have selected a list of 100 words they recommend every high school graduate -- and their parents -- should know.

"The words we suggest," says senior editor Steven Kleinedler, "are not meant to be exhaustive but are a benchmark against which graduates and their parents can measure themselves. If you are able to use these words correctly, you are likely to have a superior command of the language."

What caught my eye is that a full one-sixth of the words are scientific or technical terms. I have reproduced them below. This, I think, reflects the near imperative of being scientifically literate to prosper in the 21st century.

• chromosome
• gamete
• hemoglobin
• hypotenuse
• kinetic
• metamorphosis
• mitosis
• nanotechnology
• oxidize
• parabola
• photosynthesis
• plasma
• polymer
• quasar
• taxonomy
• tectonic
• thermodynamics

And sorry kids, plasma does not mean "TV." So did you know them all? I did, although I wasn't 100 percent sure of gamete.

Notes from MOM

Mom writes, "The shuttle was awesome to see it in person it was hard to take pictures!!
We had a great time and now Bob wants to do it again.

Bob and Barbara"

Major Technological Breakthrough

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music -- inside a woman's breast implant.

The iBOOB will cost between $499 and $599.

This is considered a major technological breakthrough, addressing the concerns of women who complain about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

The end of the plug?

Scientists have sounded the death knell for the plug and power lead.

In a breakthrough that sounds like something out of Star Trek, they have discovered a way of 'beaming' power across a room into a light bulb, mobile phone or laptop computer without wires or cables.

In the first successful trial of its kind, the team was able to illuminate a 60-watt light bulb 7ft away.


The team from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who call their invention 'WiTricity', believe it could change the way we use electricity and do away with the tangle of cables, plugs and chargers that clutter modern homes.


It could also allow the use of laptops and mobile phones without batteries.

The inspiration came when the lead researcher, Dr Marin Soljacic, was standing in his kitchen at night staring at his mobile phone.

"It was probably the sixth time that month that I was awakened by my cell phone beeping to let me know that I had forgotten to charge it. It occurred to me that it would be so great if the thing took care of its own charging," he said.

To turn this dream into reality, Dr Soljacic needed a way of transmitting power wirelessly.

Scientists have known for nearly two centuries that it is possible to transfer an electrical current from one coil of wire to another without them touching.

The phenomenon, called electromagnetic induction, is used in power transformers and electric motors around the world.

However, the coils in motors and transformers have to be close for power to pass from one to another. Attempting to transfer power over distances is impossible.

The breakthrough came when Dr Soljacic realised there was another way of transferring energy through the air.

Rather than sending power from a transmitter to a receiver as a conventional electromagnetic wave - the same form of radiation as light, radio waves and microwaves - he could use the transmitter to fill a room with a 'non-radiative' electromagnetic field.

Most objects in the room - such as people, desks and carpets - would be unaffected by the electromagnetic field. But any objects designed to resonate with the electromagnetic field would absorb the energy.

It sounds complicated, but the result demonstrated by the American team this month was a dramatic success. Using two coils of copper, the team transmitted power 7ft through the air to a light bulb, which lit up instantly.

The scientists say the technique works only over distances of up to 9ft. However, they believe it could be used to charge up a battery within a few yards of the power source connected to a receiving coil.

Placing one source in each room could provide enough power for an entire house.

The receiver and transmitter would not have to be in view of each other.

Professor Peter Fisher, another of the researchers, said: "As long as the laptop is in a room equipped with a source of wireless power, it would charge automatically without having to be plugged in. In fact, it would not even need a battery to operate inside such a room."


The researchers believe there is little to worry about on safety grounds, saying that magnetic fields interact weakly with living organisms and are unlikely to have any serious side effects.

Dr Soljacic said: "When my son was about three years old, we visited his grandparents' house. They had a 20-year-old phone and my son picked up the handset asking, 'Dad, why is this phone attached with a cord to the wall?' That is the mindset of a child growing up in a wireless world.

"Hopefully we will be getting rid of some more wires and batteries soon."

Minor League Braves Manager Goes Crazy

Minor League baseball can be pretty entertaining

The 60-story house for just one family

India's richest man, Mukesh Ambani, is planning a palace in the heart of Mumbai with helipad, health club, hanging gardens and six floors of car parking.

His wife, mother and three children will live there with him, looked after by 600 live-in staff.

Construction has already started on what will eventually be a 175m tower and planners are aiming to complete it in September 2008.

Earlier this year, Forbes rated Mr Ambani as the richest resident Indian with a net worth of US$20.1 billion.

He came 14th in Forbes' 2007 worldwide rankings.

Currently he is chairman of petroleum major Reliance Industries Ltd, India's largest private sector company

The building, already worth £500 million, could start a rush on skyscrapers.

Source: Daily Mail

Don't Get Me Started

#$@(*&$@#(*&@#(!))~!#)~)#$&)$

That's the "soft", PG-13 version of what I'd like to say at the moment.

I hate when people panic and create emercency situations for everyone in their wake.

Hate.

It.